A Very Messy Journey

Happy New Year from Marchelle and me!!

So many of us set weight loss goals and do well for a week or two, maybe even a month or two, or more … and then something happens and we end up giving up on ourselves and our goals. If this has happened to you, you're not alone!

What's going on here? It turns out that human brains have a way of perceiving things that can really sabotage our progress! Tune in to this week's podcast to discover how this happens and what you can do about it so you can stay on track!

Episode Highlights:

02:39 Almost all of us have this tendency for "all or nothing" thinking. So what I mean by this is that we think that things have to be one way or another. That's a normal human brain that does this. So think about it from an evolutionary perspective. We survived because we made quick judgements about whether something was dangerous or safe friend or foe. So our brains are hardwired to make these quick assessments.

05:26 So just be aware of this because in the real world, things are never either one way or another way. It's not good or bad. It's actually good and bad. Especially when it comes to human beings and our behavior. We're all of it. We're good and bad. We're competent and incompetent. We're generous and selfish. We can be motivated and we can be lazy. So understanding this is really important in the weight loss journey

09:18 This tendency of our brains to want to indulge in "all or none" thinking can really sabotage our weight loss journey. So to overcome this tendency in our own brains, I'd like to offer this thought. What if it's okay if our journey's a little bit messy? What if our journey can be filled with success and failure? What if we can be good at times and bad at times, and still reach our ultimate goal of thriving in a healthy, vibrant body that we're proud of?

---  Transcription Below ---

Hey everyone and welcome to our first podcast for 2022!  For me it’s just so hard to believe that a new year is already upon us. It always takes me a while to get used to writing the new year on documents and prescriptions… so for the entire month of January I’ll be writing 2021 on everything I have to put a date on. That can get pretty confusing!

[Marchelle]

I have a request for each one of our listeners. If you are getting value from these podcasts, will you please take a moment of your time, if you haven’t already, and go to iTunes and rate and review this podcast?  It just takes a moment and it will really help other people to find this podcast and all the valuable information we have.  There is so much BS in the world of weight loss, and I just want people to have the education and support they need so they can live vibrant healthy lives.  If you can do your part to help others find this, we would really appreciate it!  

OK, so Last week we talked a little bit about the goal setting process… this week I wanted to talk a little bit more about our brains and how they work. 

What I’m about to teach you is work that most of us need to do, because we all have human brains.  It’s something we see often when people are in the midst of a weight loss journey, and something that I’m working on managing myself in my own thinking. 

Almost all of us - including me at times, have this tendency for all or nothing thinking. What I mean by this is we think things have to be one way or another. This is a normal human brain. 

Think about it from an evolutionary perspective. We survived because we made quick judgments about whether something was dangerous or safe, friend or foe.  So our brains are hardwired to make these quick assessments. Yes or no, good or bad, friend or foe. It’s either all good or all bad.  And these types of quick assessments kept us alive, at least long enough to reproduce and perpetuate our species. 

Our brains like to think like this. The reason is because when we think like this, there’s no cognitive dissonance. If you look up the definition for Cognitive dissonance,  it’s the psychological stress we feel when we are trying to hold conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes.  So when our brains perceive things as either/or, there is much less psychological stress. There’s no tension. We can just relax into the knowledge that we’re right, and they’re wrong. You see this all over social media all the time. 

If you pay attention, you may notice this in your own life, and the meaning you make of things that happen. For example, you may categorize and judge people without really even realizing it.  You may think “This person is a good person or this person is a bad person.” And you may find yourself even doing that with yourself, “I am a good person or I am a bad person.”

However, in the real world, things are never either/or.  It’s not good OR bad. It’s good AND bad. Especially when it comes to human beings and our behavior, we are ALL of it. We are good AND bad.  We are competent AND incompetent. We are generous AND selfish.  We can be motivated, AND we can be lazy. 

Understanding this is really important in a weight loss journey. Because we have set some goals, we have some ideas about where we are going… and our brains want us to be PERFECT at this. And our brains are going to have this tendency to tell us that if we’re not perfect, we’re failing. It’s either one way or the other… we’re either doing this right, or we’re not.  

This happens ALL the TIME in a weight loss journey. How often do we see people come in with these perfect food journals for months at a time? Frankly, these are the people I really worry about, because I know what’s going on in their thinking.  They are thinking look, I’m doing this right, I can show you with this perfect food journal. I am good.  I am eating perfectly. I am losing weight. It’s all handled.  There is no cognitive dissonance in someone like this. AT least not at that point in time. 

But then something happens, and they experience a failure.  Maybe they splurged on a vacation. Maybe they got sick. Maybe they had to work overtime for a month or 2 to make a work deadline.  Maybe someone in their family got injured or sick. They stop journaling for a while. They start eating more quick convenience foods, they get off track. 

Their brains can’t handle the cognitive dissonance. Their brains are saying hey wait a minute… I’m Good - but this isn’t GOOD Behavior.   This doesn’t make sense. I can’t be Good, and behave BADLY. I must be BAD. I’m bad.  I’ve failed.  I give up.  I’m a failure and I’m not going to try any more. 

[Marchelle comments]

You can see how this tendency of our brains to want to indulge in all or none thinking can really sabotage our weight loss journeys. 

So to overcome this tendency in our own brains, I’d like to offer this thought.   What if it’s OK if our journey is a little bit messy?  What if our journey can be filled with success AND failure?  What if we can be good at times and bad at times, and still reach our ultimate goal of thriving in a healthy vibrant body that we’re proud of? 
So, I want to offer this up as a challenge for you to look at when you’re evaluating your own thinking.  All or nothing statements will definitely keep us from feeling that uncomfortable cognitive dissonance, and so there is an indulgent comfort in it.  But it also leaves us with not having to think critically and discover patterns that might be sabotaging our ultimate success. 
Imagine this – what if we can hold the truth of BOTH being true at the same time…  we can be successful AND we can fail …. and we become willing to tolerate the discomfort of the cognitive dissonance that occurs as a result, we will find that our lives become actually much easier to manage. 

[Marchelle comments]

So I want us all to just challenge this tendency in our brains.  What if we’re doing this right, AND we’re failing at times? And what if that’s just part of the process?  What if it’s OK that the journey is a little bit messy?  What if all that matters is that we don’t give up?  
 
All right everyone that’s all for today. I'd like to wish each of you a very Happy New Year!  It’s my hope that each one of you will land in a healthy vibrant body that you’re proud of by the end of 2022, if not sooner!  Make sure you join us in the membership to get all the help and support you need.  Just head to Journeybeyondweightloss.com to sign up. We’ll see you on the inside!

--- End of Transcription ---

Dr. Angela

This episode was produced and marketed by the Get Known Service